Sharing My Truth

Whether it is believed or not, I still need to speak it. I need to tell my truth because silence is no longer an option. 

I'm just going to get right to it.

My sister stole my housekeeping business. 

It was gut-wrenching waking up on the morning of April 28, 2015 to learning that my sister, who had asked to partner with me and help me grow my housekeeping business I started in 2007, had removed my access to the OneNote files, email accounts and removed me from the business license. These were files that I created before she had "partnered" with me. I use quotes because all she did was pay half of the business license fee. 

I did all the work from preforming all the cleanings, estimates (I did train her how once), purchasing of supplies and customer communication relating to scheduling and such. I came up with the new name from Consciously Green Cleaning to Purely Green Cleaning. I designed and drew the logo. She had her friend digitally draw my original art. He did it for free. She has a way of getting people to do things for her for free...

We opened a joint business bank account. I deposited all the money I earned and paid myself $100 a week. 

I went from keeping all the money I made, to paying myself for the one expense that I was obligated to pay weekly- I had supervised visits with my 15 year old son. I'll tell that story over a series of posts at a later date. Betty knew this and knew that I needed a source for paying for this as #2 controlled all the household money and refused to pay for my visits. 

I had 4 customers, including her house that I gave her a discounted rate for prior to partnering. If you're wondering, the money she paid me to clean her house for "our" business was deposited into the business account that she had access to. All of the customers during the partnership were MY customers prior to our partnership. 

On April 29, 2015, I had a visit with my son as I did every Wednesday. I went to withdraw the $100 for the visitation fee and I learned the account was overdrawn. To my knowledge, there should have been a little over $300 in there. I went inside the branch to see what was going on and learned that Betty had her personal bank account linked to the business account. When her personal account over-drafted, it would take money out of our business account!!! 

Being co-dependant, I called my mom. 

My mom said, "well weren't you having your gym membership taken out of the business account?" 

Um, no mom. I've never had a gym membership in my life. Betty had HERS taken out of the business account. That is why her personal account was over drafted and the money, plus all the fees and other transactions that didn't clear her personal account emptied the business account. 

My mom met me on her way home from work to loan me $100 for my visit. 

But what was I going to do next week and the weeks after? Betty removed my access from all of the accounts. Every time I tried to recover them she changed the the passwords again. 

I had a cleaning on Thursday, April 30th. My customer didn't answer the door when I arrived. I tried calling but she didn't answer her phone either. I had no choice to but to go home, relieve the babysitter for my then 2 and 4 year old girls and I called Betty. 

Surprised she answered because the only thing I had heard from her over the last few days was through our mom, she told me, "You said you were done." I replied, "No, I didn't. I said I couldn't have the conversation with you last time we spoke because I had proctored finals I needed to study for and take at a certain time". 

She had been upset with me because I asked someone to reschedule. My youngest was sick with a fever that day. I had asked Betty to clean the house because my schedule was limited because of finals week. 

Betty said "No" to cleaning. That was my job, not hers... 

So, like the narcissist she likely is, she twisted my words, projected her faults on me (banking problems), and accused me of being the one who removed her...

I had had enough! 

I tried to contact my customers and let them know I was changing the business back to it's original form and attempted to give them my new contact information. Betty had already called them and apparently told them, according to one of the customers, that I didn't like cleaning houses and that I was above that type of work. She also told them that since I was going to be graduating soon with my degree in Paralegal, I was moving on to other things. She directed all contact to be with her only and told them that I was trying to steal from "her business bank accounts". 

I was fucking livid! 

I tried everything I could to retain the business I worked hard starting from the ground up, twice. First in 2007 then again in 2013 when I first had to pay to see my oldest child. 

She later used the logo that she claimed was "registered personally to [her]" (an unlawful business move and breach of our partnership on her part) as her new logo for Forever Spring Cleaning. It is obvious to me now that she planned this from the start. She was just waiting for the opportunity for me to respond the the stress of being in partnership with her while doing all of the work, coupled with my unstable marriage, going to school online full time, caring for two toddlers with no help from their father, and having to juggle going to court with my son's dad every few weeks. She sought her opportunity and she took it. 

But I was still in disbelief that my own sister could do that to me. 

I worked so hard developing my housekeeping business. Betty was even my first customer! I also cleaned her neighbor Denise's house who lived across the street from her. I cleaned for Betty's sister-in-law Sherri. 

Both of them cancelled but didn't give reasons why. I now know it was because Betty can't help herself and she trash talks about everyone behind their backs. As evidenced from the Facebook post she recently did and the past posts she'd posted after she stole my business. 

We have had a rocky relationship since birth. Much like the relationships she has had throughout her life. When people stand up to her or set boundaries she seeks to destroy. Ask her former friend Janell. Or Dianna. Or Michelle... You get the picture. 

I know firsthand the wrath of Betty. For 43 years I have kept quiet because the path of destruction has been devastating. 

You may be wondering, 'why did you let her back into your life so many times if she has done these tings to you?' People often ask this of victims of domestic violence and the answer is similar:

Because that was my normal. That is what I was raised to think was normal. I saw my parents in constant chaos. They'd split. Get back together. Yell. Hit each other. Lie. Sneak around. It fucking sucked being me as a child. 

Betty would repress things. Pretend it didn't happen. We wanted a better life. She pretended (and still does) that she had/ has a prefect life. She told people the opposite of what our life was like. She felt better for it, I'm sure. People don't want to hear the truth when it hurts. 

I am an empath. I feel. Everything. I didn't feel heard so I wrote. I wrote poetry, short stories, novels. I was a kid but I liked writing and letting my voice be seen, even if it just by me. I also drew and made art. I've always felt like people thought I was weird. I was seen as shy. I was quiet. I didn't rock the boat so I guess everyone thought of me as an easy target. I was, actually. Then I became a teenager... Again, another story to be written. 

My sister and I were affected by what we saw our parents emulate for us. At least until I was 13 and our parents finally divorced. He was in and out of our lives for years at a time. I've remained in contact with my dad and had many conversations with hi about his side, as I learned my mom's views in his absence. There really is two sides to every story. The truth is within that. 

I will leave you with a poem I wrote when I was 15. Although it reads as if it was written about an man, I had never had a boyfriend or been in a relationship romantically besides my 5th grade "boyfriend". I don't know what inspired me to write it. It just found paper and imbedded it's message in my mind.